Christmas is a season during which we often place great
weight on tradition. We reenact, year after year, things we’ve done previously,
elements of past Christmases that hold memory and meaning for us. Though we may
balk at tradition at other times, we hold on to Christmas traditions with great
zealousness.
Yet there are times when those traditions are no longer
available to us. Children grow up, family members die, divorce happens, people
move, etc. When these things happen, we grieve the loss of traditions. We may
bemoan that things are not what they have been. We lose the patterns of
holidays that are as comfortable and familiar as well-worn shoes.
We can become angry, blame those whose changes have
wrought changes to our traditions, or simply let ourselves become depressed and
despairing. When tempted to embrace an unhealthy emotion, maybe it is good to
consider the first Christmas and the chaos it caused to all who were a part of
it. An unmarried young woman, pregnant, a betrothed who sticks with her at the
risk to his own reputation, a birth away from home and the difficult journey
preceding it—there really was nothing very peaceful and calm about that first
Christmas!
This year I am thinking of ways to create new traditions
around this season. The inspiration for
this came from my Christmas tree. The Christmas I was separated from my spouse,
I almost didn’t get a tree. Not knowing whether the separation would be
temporary or permanent, the practical side of me thought not to, but I realized
that having a tree could provide an emotional lift in a chaotic and stressful
holiday season. To appease my practicality, I purchased a $15 prelit tabletop
tree and a $1 package of small star ornaments for it. I tied a small gold
ribbon at the top and placed my presents for family and friends around it.
This is my third Christmas with my little tree. While in
Portland Oregon with friends, I found small wooden bird ornaments that fit both
my tree and my personality (I love birds). Another friend brought me some small
shiny balls to add to my tree. Decorating it this year was something I looked
forward to, because it represented people and memories that I cherish.
My tree is inspiring me to consider how I might make more
new traditions for the Christmas season. I want to embrace that things may be
as chaotic as they were the first Christmas, and yet also imagine ways to
create traditions that will be touchstones in the sometimes messy circumstances
that are indicative of “real life.”
Whether your holiday season is chaotic or calm, I pray
you can be patient, loving and centered in God’s peace, not just at this time
of year but always. Merry Christmas!