From his fullness
we have all received grace upon grace
John
1:16
Fullness. In the midst of Christmas celebrations, many of
us know about fullness. Full schedules, full houses, full stomachs, even full
trash cans as boxes and wrapping paper are discarded.
Yet all these are temporary, fleeting expressions of
fullness. In fact, they distract us from the Source of true fullness, the Word
who became flesh and made his home among us. What our hearts hunger for is not
another piece of pie, or more activities or the latest gadget, but this grace
upon grace that John can hardly describe. Words are inadequate to capture the
utter richness of who Jesus is and what he longs to give to us.
I recall a prayer I heard once, offered by Sister
Kathleen Flood at a 5-Day Academy for Spiritual Formation. She prayed, asking
God to forgive us for being content with crumbs when God wants to give us the
entire loaf. And this is what we do far too often—we grab crumbs, holding onto
moldy, dry crumbs when a warm, fragrant, freshly baked loaf is offered to us.
Whether we think we are unworthy for such a gift, cannot be vulnerable enough
to be a recipient rather than a giver, or simply cannot trust that God loves us
so generously, we turn down treasure and hold onto trash.
We choose crumbs whenever we choose fear over love, when
we are more concerned with security than with generosity, when we struggle to
meet expectations rather than relaxing into freedom to be who God created us to
be. We especially do it at Christmas when we substitute shopping, food and
materialism—dry crumbs—for the freshness that comes with realizing that we are
sons and daughters of God, uniquely loved by our Creator.
Only a few recognized or understood Jesus when he lived
among us in skin. Even today, many do not understand that Jesus came to set us
free from fear, from imprisoning rules and expectations. Jesus came to show us
what love is, in all its warmth, freshness and fragrant goodness. There is no
end to his grace and love. It is we who choose to live in scarcity, to eat
crumbs.
St. Catherine of Siena expresses the abundance, the
fullness of grace in this short poem:
We know nothing
until we know everything.
I have no object
to defend
for all is of
equal value
to me.
I cannot lose
anything in this
place of abundance
I found.
If something my
heart cherishes
is taken away,
I just say, “Lord,
what
happened?”
And a hundred more
appear.
Living in the fullness of grace upon grace, we don’t have
to subsist on crumbs, living as if love is a scarce possession. Love begets
love, generosity begets generosity and grace is unending and abundant, a
fragrant, limitless loaf!